Random thoughts - Drifting..

Drifting..

Have you ever seen a bird's feather drift in the air? It rises up with every gust of air that propels it higher and higher. It sways in the middle, dances in the air and defies gravity by its weight - feather-weight. It is quite interesting to watch where it settles and how it leaves to its next waypoint without a mark. The fascinating aspect of this drift is that it lacks direction and you can never map the course of this journey. Not even the feather could.

Kids often catch hold of it and play with its freedom. But, the feather is never conquered. It shall merrily drift again. Only rain wears it down with its heaviness and stamps it on to the ground. The wounded feather loses itself and lies helplessly on the ground. During the sunny times, it scaled the tallest buildings, outlasted all of its conquerors and never stopped in hesitation. The pounding was a touch too heavy on the feather this time. Its wings were greased with pain and insecurities it never knew before. The feather believes all its sorrows and pain will be blown away by the winds of hope. It bides this phase lying in soltitude and hope.

And yes, the warmth of the sun and the strength of the winds drove the dark times away. With its rusty wings, the feather began its journey once again. The drifting was not easy anymore and neither graceful as before. But for the feather, these little misgivings did not bother anymore because it was doing what it loved the most..drifting. But by now, it sure knew the perils of rain and the powers of hope.

For me, this feather is nothing but the spirit.. the spirit of living!

Random thoughts - Volatile....

Volatile....

I guess.. sometimes when you embrace a lot of new things at a time, and try to pace yourself to the new pace you set for yourself; you reach a certain point when you are neither the present nor your past. This is the moment of truth. It is quite important you stick on and saddle up even more. Because, if you turn back now, you will need to start all over again. I am sure you will go through your troughs of doubts and trails leading back to the place you started this journey from. But, it is the will that carries you forward. You should march your feet in one direction - forward. The head will follow as you move on.

Appa..

Wrote this for my appa's 60th bday.. in 2006

Dear Appa..

This day when you turn six-zero,
We still regard you as our best hero
For the million battles for us you have won
though you maintain there were none

You are this river that endlessly flows
Enriching every life in its course;
With your wisdom, truth, love and care,
You taught us to live life full and fair

You toiled hard night and day,
To make our lives merry and gay
You have travelled many a path unknown
For our journeys not to slow down.

You were the shoulder we always turned to,
whenever life did what it was not supposed to
Thanks for being our pillar of support always
Though you have none but you to keep us at pace

You are more than simple and more than great
You have poise and style no one can imitate
A self made man you are, you are selfless 
Your life is with achievements countless

All of us are blessed in abundance
For life we have your presence
I am sure nobody will protest
If i say, "Dear Father, You are the Best"

  ~ your tributaries

Coffee...

06 Nov 2005, 15:10
Rashmi loved the lake at Lalbagh but today she was determined to solve her Rubik's cube by force or by fair means. It was gifted to her by daddy Ajay on the day she turned 3. Both of them were basking on the not-so-bright sunlight as it muffled through the clouds and reflected the trees on the lake. It was a family ritual for the Ajays to spend the entire sunday exploring the world. Prita, Rashmi's mom, was the one who picked Lalbagh this time around. She preferred the park to a movie since it gave her that extra bit of quality time with Rashmi and of course, Ajay.
Ajay was smiling to himself as he watched his 3-year old, Rashmi twisting her Rubik's endlessly. After all, life has treated him in the best possible way. He graduated with an MBA from a famous school like he always wanted. He was now in charge of investment banking for his city for a renowed private sector bank in the country and worked out from Bangalore. Prita was into the services industry and a smart project leader. He met her in his business school and persuaded her for 293 days straight to marry him. She finally budged after the summer's when even she realised that she was head over heels in love with him. The days that led up to their marriage were a roller coaster with one family accepting and the other one objecting and vice versa. Prita and Ajay treaded carefully and made it to the other side of the bridge without any bloody events.
Ajay was good at multi-tasking and for now he was busy juggling between a copy of Business Week and Maynard's Mergers And Acquisitions and more importantly he was counting down for his cup of freshly brewed coffee from Sam's coffee right across the park. Ajay closed his latest business deal with Prita for his cup of Sam's and the trade off was laundry for the next 2 weeks. He was pretty sure Prita will take over by the end of the first week. In the four years of marriage, there was never a big fight and who said ideal couples do not exist. Ajay and Prita were indeed living the "They lived happily ever after" life.
Rashmi uttered a 'Daaa' and Ajay closed his books as if to say he got the message before she could finish it with a '..d'. She asked for some water and Ajay passed on her vinny the poo that had its tummy filled with water. As he watched Rashmi swallow her second gulp of water, he heard tires shrieking followed by loud thuds and more squealing tires. Instinct took over as he grabbed Rashmi with one hand and his mobile on the other and started running towards the direction from where all the noise emanated. His heart beating faster every millisecond, the only assurances came from his own mind, which kept telling 'not her.. she's fine'.. 'she's fine'..'nothin will go wrong'..'will see her smile again'. As he reached the exit of the park, he could make out that a BMTC bus had rammed into a qualis. A couple of other cars were also smoking as they seem to have collided in an effort to avoid the bus. And that's when he noticed the familiar yellow duppatta which Prita sported that day. It was not the main accident that killed his beloved wife but the stray one that followed. Ajay froze and before he realised tears streamed down and Rashmi was crying though nobody told her what had just happened. But, he did not hear any of it and he struggled to breathe, smothered by pain and disbelief. Life turned its ugly tail on him in the worst possible way and probably time as well. Many a business deal were closed over a cup of coffee and Ajay shivered one of them just ended his life. His life has crashed from the summits of happiness to the darkest of pits and he was sure that he will never make it out of there.
"Click...Click....Tsh.... Tsh" from Prita broke Ajay's reverie. Prita was taken aback to see Ajay shaking profusely and pearls of sweat emerged all through his forehead. Ajay got up and hugged his wife and he stuttered "I love you" repeatedly. Prita comforted him as much as she could and gave him his cup of coffee. It took Ajay almost the entire cup of coffee to recover from his nightmare and he could smile at the end of it. He vowed to Prita never to watch Alaipayuthey again and especially the one where Shakthi's hit by a car. At this very point, Ajay could hear a tone, some english song in the background and that filled the air in Lalbagh. It was like in the movies and was getting louder and louder by the second. Suddenly, Ajay was losing his eyesight, pixel by pixel, everything was blurring if not disappearing.
It is 8.40 am, 14 Jan, 2009. The familiar song was 'Viva La vida' by coldplay and my alarm tone. My world came down crashing and blood rushing to my temple. I have a meeting with the clients at 9 am and I am yet to even press my shirt.
After the meeting, I get my first cup of coffee for the day. I manage a smile as I realize that Ajay did look like me. I start thanking God for I am still 27 and for God's sake I do not have a kid right now. And yes, who is Prita? - that's some food for thought.. :)

Gifted....

Okay..I agree. My blog has not begun with the happiest of notes possible. All of you folks have tagged me on that. My life has been much better and brighter than what my blog reflects... if only I count my blessings!

So, here's to life and all the good things it has shown me to..

To be born under the light of a million stars;
To have warmed her heart with happiness untold,
For she held me for the first time in her arms
To be her cherished son all life, I feel gifted!

To have lovely siblings who always cared;
For having their support whenever I was scared
To have them pamper me all through my childhood
To be their only brother, feels like knighthood!

To have sailed through those adolescent years;
To have reached the shores of manhood;
With my father who guided me as a beacon
To be his sailor, I feel blessed!

To have found a few good friends,
With their presence, my happiness never pretends
To experience their love and loyalty for eternity
To live my life, I feel elated!

Lonely....

Spring was our favourite season,
but all that changed with a reason
Winter has never been so long;
for u, my sunshine, are gone

waking up is something i detest,
only in dreams i never protest
for my head says you are dead,
but my heart approves it's instead

who said only humans err,
God's made a blunder here!
He ordered one life depart,
And made two souls live apart

Never have i felt so crippled
though my limbs never even toddled
Like a bird missing its wings mid-air
without you, my life is hung in despair….

The beginning

Like many of you folks here, I have had the urge to start blogging for a long time now. I am not quite sure as to why I chose to ignore it so far. Probably because I thought there are already so many thousand blogs and what difference mine is going to make. But then, i guess i realise that this can make a difference to the way i look at things and how i will see them in future. Also, the ones who bother reading this and who bother about me would be interested.

2009 has just begun and need i say new years are always special. They are really special because they give this new zeal and a fresh perspective to start life all over again. I can compare this to only "a restart to a windows run PC". Of course, it works wonders and things start working like nothing were wrong before.

My 2009 has started in a pretty dramatic way; fireworks in my sky - real and virtual. No big resolutions this time around except for one - to start living in real time. I was moved by this dialogue in OSO where in Om says "when you want something with heart and soul, the entire universe conspires in helping you achieve it". I have a couple of big dreams up my sleeve, lets see where providence and this universe take me.